Remember
by avlyn-naturae
Summary: We make a lot of mistakes in our lives. This is about doing what is right at the end of all things. AnakinObiWan slash, mm COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Remember**

**Rating: PG**

**Summary: We make a lot of mistakes in our lives. This is about doing what is right at the end of all things. Anakin/Obi-Wan slash, m/m **

The acrid gases seeping from the lava holes would have dulled the senses of any other ordinary creature but Anakin Skywalker was no ordinary human being. The Force screamed through him as he delivered every blow and met every attack with a well-executed parry. He twisted about, meeting a low slash before spinning away, watching Obi-Wan Kenobi with a hunger akin to a predator.

Anakin caught a flicker of uncertainty in Obi-Wan's eyes as he watched him. He could not feel Obi-Wan's uncertainty through the Force-bond they had once shared a dozen years ago. That bond had been severed long before this battle had started. It had been severed before Mustafar, before he became a Sith, before Utapau, before Jabiim, before the war – before Geonosis. Now, there was just a gaping emptiness where a presence had once been.

There was just Anakin and Obi-Wan.

"Walk away now, Obi-Wan, and I'll spare your life," Anakin offered.

"Did you spare the lives of the younglings in the Jedi Temple, Anakin?" asked Obi-Wan softly as he raised his lightsaber in a classic defensive stance. His voice was tinged with remorseful determination. "Did you hesitate as you lift your lightsaber to slaughter the children who could not defend themselves? You didn't, Anakin. You have become a danger even to yourself."

Anger coursed through Anakin as he heard Obi-Wan's words. Here, at the very end of all things and Obi-Wan still had the audacity to lecture him. He raised his lightsaber, the blue blade humming in the air between them.

"You made your choice, Master. So be it."

As Anakin smashed his lightsaber against Obi-Wan's, he channeled his pain, anger and guilt to the Force. It came back as a blow that nearly shattered Obi-Wan's arm. There was no pleasure from it or any guilt – just a driving need.

This battle had nothing to do with obligations. This battle had nothing to do about avenging the deaths of the Jedi. It had nothing to do about commitments to the ways of the Force. It had nothing to do with Jedi against Sith.

It was all about Anakin and Obi-Wan.

It was all about a choice they never really had.

It was about a trust that was shattered by deceits and lies.

It was about a path they could not take.

It was a battle that had to happen.

'It was a battle,' Anakin reflected, 'about a love they could not accept.'

Every blow Anakin made forced Obi-Wan to give ground and at the same time shatter another piece of his heart. Anakin shot into a bewilderingly fast kata that forced Obi-Wan backwards on the walkway. Despite the speed of the attack, Obi-Wan met every one of them perfectly as if they had rehearsed it a million times before.

They knew better. It was all due to the instinct born out of the hours they spent fencing together in the training rooms and the many times they fought side by side against armies that outnumbered them a hundred to one. It was an instinct born out of knowing each other too well.

Except this time, they were fighting each other.

They whirled about on the platform, parrying, slashing, blocking and feinting. Their feet never stumbled or staggered as they danced above the pit of lava that churned beneath them. They could feel the heat of the lava as if it reflected their frustrations, pain and anger.

They were emotions, Obi-Wan knew, he should have let go years ago before he became a Jedi Knight. But denying those feelings was like denying he was alive. Obi-Wan back flipped onto another platform, getting a chance to catch a breath before Anakin joined him a moment later. Out of instinct, his lightsaber was raised to meet the attack before launching into a counter-attack.

He retreated into the cooler shade of the disintegrating base, beckoning Anakin to come. When Anakin swung at him from the right, he was ready.

It had been one of those times when Qui-Gon Jinn had once again gone against the advice of the Jedi Council to rescue a fellow Jedi who had once been a close friend. Obi-Wan had been frustrated – unable to understand why Qui-Gon would so rashly abandon the advice of the Jedi Council and foolishly attempt to save someone who had turned.

"You do not understand it now, Obi-Wan," said Qui-Gon, as he looked outside the window of the cockpit. "But the Jedi Council is not always right – especially in the matters of the heart. Would you give up on someone whom you considered your friend for the better part of your life? Sometimes, Obi-Wan, doing it the Jedi way is not the best way of doing it at all."

Obi-Wan had not understood what Qui-Gon meant and had not for many years to come. But now, as he parried and slashed in a duel against his best friend, he understood perfectly what Qui-Gon had meant.

The battle continued in the platform outside of the room. Anakin's attacks grew more furious and Obi-Wan parries grew more desperate. He fell to the floor, defending himself against the blows that Anakin rained down on him. In Anakin's crimson tinged eyes, he saw anguish and anger.

Sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of trust.

Without any further thought, Obi-Wan moved his sapphire blade an inch to his left, leaving his heart bare for the final kill. He closed his eyes in silent prayer as the blue blade descended with frightening speed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Remember**

**Rating: PG**

**Summary: We make a lot of mistakes in our lives. This is about doing what is right at the end of all things. Anakin/Obi-Wan slash, m/m **

Had it not been for the small amount of self-control Anakin had exercised throughout the battle, his lightsaber would have easily penetrated the Jedi robes and sink into the soft flesh underneath, burning a sizzling hole through the heart. It was surprise that made him hesitate and the sapphire blade hovered a millimeter above Obi-Wan's chest.

Obi-Wan's eyes opened when he realized that Anakin had not speared him through. Looking up, he saw the tears brimming in the eyes of his former Padawan. There was confusion, disbelief, anger even relief in they eyes that had haunted Obi-Wan during sleepless nights – taunting him for something he could not have.

Anakin looked down at him, his hands trembling as he held his lightsaber.

"Why?"

Anakin's voice sounded so scared and so different that Obi-Wan was reminded for a moment of the boy he had raised to be a Jedi since he was nine. It was a memory of a boy he had cared for, taught, laughed with and argued with. It was a memory of a boy he had grew to love more than he should. Now, the person that stood over him was a creature that had became a living nightmare – a Sith and a murderer of innocents. This creature had the power to take his life away by simply plunging the blade into his body.

But he did not.

And this was what Obi-Wan clung onto like a cable dangling above a lava pit of destruction. There was, perhaps, some hope that the boy he loved was still in the heart of this creature somewhere – hidden but there. He could not be certain, he could only hope.

Certainty was something he had never been gifted with Anakin. They had spent a huge part of their lives denying and pretending that whatever that was between them never existed. It would have been easier to deny than it was to accept because if they did, Obi-Wan would have no idea what he would do.

Obi-Wan wondered briefly is Yoda had known about this. There were a lot of things the green goblin knew about and somehow, he would not be surprised if the Jedi Grandmaster knew that out of all the Jedi in the Order, the only one that Anakin would hesitate to kill would be Obi-Wan.

And Obi-Wan clung onto this hope.

Obi-Wan met Anakin's eyes, letting the shields over his emotions fall away.

"Because…because I want to help you, Anakin," he managed to choke out as tears fell freely from his eyes only to evaporate due to immense heat. "I've been wrong before. I've been wrong so many times. Please, Anakin let me help you."

"Why should I?" Anakin asked in a barely audible voice before raising it in the heat of anger. "You never listened to me before! Why should now be any different?"

The look Obi-Wan gave him almost made him collapse.

"I want to keep my promise because this it the only thing I have left," the Jedi Master admitted. "We've made mistakes. _I _have made mistakes so I need to do at least one thing right. Please, Anakin let me help you. Let me help you save Padmé. I'm sorry for not listening – for not being there."

Anakin fell forward, kneeling between Obi-Wan's legs. The lightsaber in his hand fell and rolled a few inches away. His face hovered above Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan allowed himself the luxury of feeling of Anakin's curls against the skin of his hands. He felt wetness against his cheeks and he realized that Anakin was crying.

Obi-Wan began whispering soft, comforting words with no other intention than to comfort Anakin as the base around them fell apart. Anakin raised his hand without hesitation to wipe away the tears on Obi-Wan's cheeks. Obi-Wan had no idea which surprised him more – the feel of Anakin's real hand on his cheek or the gentleness of his caress.

"Couldn't it have been any different?" Anakin asked and there was a hint of regret in his voice that Obi-Wan could never have missed.

"Perhaps," he answered, wanting to lie here forever with Anakin above him, pretending that the last few years had all been some terrible nightmare. "But it's too late to change that. We had rules to follow."

"The rules were flawed, Obi-Wan, even the Jedi Code. The entire system was flawed."

"No, Anakin," Obi-Wan replied gently. "The system was perfect but it never took into account that it served people who are already flawed. This was how the Jedi fell. We could not adapt."

"Is that why you never listened to me?" Anakin asked.

"A part of it," agreed Obi-Wan. "I was never one to challenge the rules of the Jedi Code."

"Why the sudden change of heart, Obi-Wan?" Anakin asked, stroking Obi-Wan's face gently. "You aren't a person to change ideals so quickly."

"I didn't change them. I simply admitted that they were there."

Anakin stopped abruptly and withdrew his touch as if scorched. "What are you going to do if I let you go?"

"I want to help you, Anakin. There's nothing in it for you to lose. If it doesn't work, feel free to kill me and if it does, Padmé lives."

The question of Obi-Wan's fate was left unanswered but Anakin did not breach that subject.

"Will you help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi? Would you willingly help Anakin Skywalker?"

"The Order I served is now destroyed and the oath I sworn is now empty. There is nothing left for me now."

With a single nod, Anakin stood up.

As a precaution, Obi-Wan Kenobi walked in front of him. Obi-Wan was virtually harmless at the moment as Anakin had Obi-Wan's lightsaber safely clipped on his belt. When Anakin had picked the lightsaber, he had felt a surge of sensations flowing through him. He had felt Obi-Wan's strengths, weaknesses, skills, elegance, power…and violence.

He had been a little surprised to sense violence. Obi-Wan was the type of person who would rather negotiate than fight. He would prefer to talk himself out of a brawl instead of diving headlong into battle, lightsabers blazing. But as Anakin delved deeper, he found more startling facts as if a door in Obi-Wan's life was suddenly open to him.

Obi-Wan, it seemed, was not the calm and controlled warrior everyone thought he was. He had a rebellious side – a violent side. In battle, Obi-Wan became a bloodthirsty creature, slaying any who fell unto his path without any remorse or guilt.

Obi-Wan had a Sith side.

Despite this, Obi-Wan was an honest man who admitted he made mistakes and was modest about his abilities. He was ready to accept advice and criticism unlike many of his hard headed peers. Anakin knew that among all of the Jedi in the Order, he should be able to trust Obi-Wan the most and yet, he could not.

There was a rift between them – a rift they could not cross – no they _didn't_ want to cross because they feared what they would find on the other side. And now…now Obi-Wan was putting his trust in him like he had never done before on any of their missions together and it puzzled him greatly. It was as if Obi-Wan was trying to build a bridge from the other side and Anakin is not sure if he could help to build that bridge.

For once, Anakin is not sure if he is strong enough.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Remember**

**Rating: PG**

**Summary: We make a lot of mistakes in our lives. This is about doing what is right at the end of all things. Anakin/Obi-Wan slash, m/m **

Obi-Wan was setting the coordinates to Tantive IV while Anakin sat close to Padmé's resting body. Anakin could feel the life force fading from Padmé's body as if it was leaking from unknown wound that Anakin was completely helpless to stop. Anakin gritted his teeth. He _hated_ feeling helpless and weak. Fear gripped his heart in an iron fist.

Hero Without Fear – that was what he was supposed to be. What a joke. It was façade – a completely made up façade by the far too imaginative Holonet and exaggerated story tellers. He was filled with fear – absolutely consumed by it. He feared losing the things he most cared about simply because of silly reasons like he was not strong enough or fast enough or pushed himself far enough. It was fear that drove him to make impossible merely difficult. Anakin was a hero with many fears and it was the fears that had made him fallen.

"Captain Antilles, this is Obi-Wan Kenobi," said Obi-Wan through the communication device. "This is an emergency situation. A passenger on board is severely injured. I repeat, Senator Padmé Amidala is severely injured."

There was a brief moment of silence that seemed to last for millennia.

"General, I copy that. You have immediate clearance to the docking bay. The medical droids are standing by to escort Senator Amidala to the medical bay immediately."

Obi-Wan winced slightly at the title. He had never liked the title and he liked it even less for now, he was a general of a non-existent army. He had not wanted to become a general and had begrudgingly accepted only after the members of the Council and Anakin had literally forced him to the post. They claimed that there were just too few Jedi to lead the army and needed every one they could lay their hands on.

Until today, he was amazed at the amount of trust people put in him and his abilities. Everyone seemed to believe that he would be able to negotiate near impossible treaties and lead a fully equipped army that depended on his decision. Well, everyone that was, except himself.

That was probably his greatest fault.

Obi-Wan Kenobi was modest to the point of being doubtful of himself. He was easily among the best Jedi – often spoken well of by other Jedi including Yoda and Mace who both respected him. He never considered himself superior to other and never bragged about his missions and always – always – doubted his abilities.

This was what Obi-Wan feared he might have passed on to his former Padawan. Obi-Wan dealt with it by releasing it into the Force but Anakin…Anakin simply pushed himself beyond the limits of possibilities because Anakin feared. Obi-Wan knew Anakin feared many things. He had seen the rare glimpses of terror during Anakin's moments of weaknesses that rendered him incapable of doing even the most simplest of tasks.

Maybe Obi-Wan _could_ have done something to stop this from happening.

But, he did not.

Instead, he let Anakin become who he was – a traitor and a murderer. The deaths of the younglings were as much as his fault as it was Anakin's. And now, he could not _make_ himself, _force_ himself – _delude_ himself – into carrying out what every Jedi Knight was sworn to do.

Except that the Jedi Order was no more.

Did that make the Jedi Code empty?

It had been one of those lazy, unimportant days one could tick off from the calendar. Obi-Wan had been sitting quietly in one couch, facing his Padawan with his mind completely blank.

"Master, I don't understand one line of the code."

Anakin had been sixteen then – a troublesome, ambitious and rather rash sixteen year old with an insatiable appetite for challenging everything. Obi-Wan knew what line Anakin was referring to and for a lack of a better thing to do (Obi-Wan did not like meditation that much but he kept that a secret), he decided to participate.

"And what line might that be, Anakin?" asked Obi-Wan, feigning innocence.

"It's funny how the Jedi wants us to be compassionate but not allow us to have emotions. It's contradictory. I mean, isn't being compassionate meaning to have emotions?"

"The Code is trying to set a guideline, Anakin," said Obi-Wan methodically. "To be compassionate is to be merciful, kind and fair. The Code prevents us from forming attachments due to emotions. Emotions cloud our minds. They prevent us from making clear judgments. To be controlled by emotions is to neglect higher reasoning."

"It's not wrong to love, Master!" exclaimed Anakin, jumping to his feet and crossing the space between them quickly. "It's not wrong to care for someone – to have affections for someone – to be concerned about that person! It's a natural process. To have emotions is to be alive!"

"Anakin, you have been taught this already! Attachments are a privilege we cannot have. Attachments breed feelings of greed and jealousy. They make us vulnerable to temptations and false promises. Anakin – for Force's sake – listen to me! These are sacrifices we have to make!"

Anakin knelt down before Obi-Wan, a disbelieving look on his face. "Have you ever been tempted before?"

Anakin placed his hands on Obi-Wan's knees and Obi-Wan drew his breath sharply. The simple touch had an instantaneous effect. It was as if a thermofurnace had just blazed to life in front of him. Force…every single emotion pulsed – pain, anger, hope, despair, desire and…

He closed his eyes.

"Anakin." The name came out rasped and unsteady. "I have been tempted before but this…what you ask is something I cannot give. Anakin, I'm sorry."

There was a moment of deafening silence, a sudden lost of warmth from his knees and the sound of fading footsteps as a door slid closed. Obi-Wan opened his eyes and let out a breath he had no idea he had been holding.

There was only one feeling left.

It took a while before Obi-Wan realized it was regret.

Obi-Wan found Anakin sitting diligently beside Padmé's resting body after leaving the ship's system in control of docking. Anakin looked pale and ill. He did not look as if he had much sleep lately and worry lines had begun to crease his forehead as he held Padmé's slender hand in his as he ran his mechanical hands through Padmé's soft hair.

"The medical droids are prepared to take Padmé to the medical bay once the ship is docked," informed Obi-Wan. "We'll do everything we can to help you."

At Anakin's silence, Obi-Wan turned around to walk away but Anakin's voice froze him in his tracks.

"I loved her."

There was a slight stinging pain in his heart Obi-Wan tried to ignore. He did not turn around because he could almost feel Anakin's eyes trained on his back. There was no more strength to meet his gaze.

"She made me happy," continued Anakin. "She cared for me. She wanted me. I loved her for that. She means a lot to me."

"I understand." Obi-Wan did not think he really did.

"No you don't." Anakin's voice was harsh and rather cold. "You never did! You can't have because…" _you never accepted me_…

Obi-Wan could guess what Anakin was trying to say and walked away. He felt tears gathering in his eyes and hollowness in his heart. There was no place he could turn to – not even the Force that had betrayed the lives of so many Jedi, except, perhaps…

Obi-Wan placed his hand beneath the collar of his robes and fingered the object hidden behind.

Perhaps, he could do something to change this.

Suddenly, Obi-Wan felt very tired.

"All organic damage has been repaired. Subject is still dying."

"What do you mean?" roared Anakin angrily, looking ready to strike the droid through. "Why is she still dying?"

"Systemic failure cannot be explained." The droid was oblivious to Anakin's current unstable state.

"Look, you stupid factory by-product, I'll tear you apart from circuit to circuit…" he began menacingly, taking a threatening step to the medical droid.

"Anakin, please," pleaded Obi-Wan gently.

Anakin turned to face him, feeling a sudden urge to flare up at his old Master and the grave expression on his Master's face.

"You promised to me to help Padmé!" he shouted bitterly, feeling a haze of redness settle over his mind. "You _promised_ me that Padmé would live! What are you going to do now, huh, great Jedi Master? My _real_ Master has been right all along. All you Jedi are a bunch of liars! All of you are a bunch of hypocrites! All of you are just jokes!"

"Anakin, I promised you that I would do all I can to save her. I will, trust me."

"Trust? _Trust_?" Anakin snorted. "Why should I have ever _trusted_ you?"

Obi-Wan drew back and a flash of emotion passed through his grayish-blue eyes. Anakin saw the barest hint of hurt that was quickly replaced by the look of quiet resignation.

"I'm not asking for your friendship or your understanding anymore, Anakin, because I know we can't repair the damage that's already done," said Obi-Wan softly. "I'm not asking you to forgive me for anything. I'm asking you to give me a chance – nothing more."

Obi-Wan exited the room the moment he finished to meet with Master Yoda and Bail Organa who waited outside. Anakin watched as there was a brief exchange of words between the two Jedi Masters that seemed to have left both Yoda and the Alderaan Senator shaken. Yoda tapped the floor angrily with his gimer stick and Bail Organa looked perplexed. Yet, on Obi-Wan's face there was a hint of defiance not normally seen. He spoke shortly to Yoda and walked away.

Through the transparent glass walls of the medical bay, Anakin saw an unreadable expression on Yoda's face as the Jedi Master turned to look at him. Anakin turned away and tried focusing his attention on his dying wife but his mind was filled with Obi-Wan's words that echoed and stayed with him better than a hundred of his lectures.

_I'm not asking you for your friendship or your understanding…_

_I'm asking you to give me a chance…_

The words sounded sad, resigned and grave,

A chance – Obi-Wan wanted a chance.

Anakin gripped the side of the operating table tightly, almost bending the metal with his robotic arm. He gritted his teeth and tried to steel his resolve.

Obi-Wan…one more chance…

Anakin prayed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: Remember 04**

**Rating: PG**

**Summary: We make a lot of mistakes in our lives. This is about doing what is right at the end of all things. Anakin/Obi-Wan slash, m/m **

**A/N: I want to thank all those who read and reviewed. I really appreciate that. The next chapter is the last chapter. I've written this story a couple of months ago so shrugs**

"Come on, Padmé," Anakin urged desperately as his wife gave another pained cry that tore through his soul. "Please, hold on…I need you, please…"

She did not seem to hear him as her body shook with every contraction.

"Anakin…I'm so sorry…not strong enough…Anakin…love you…"

His heart faded into despair. Padmé was the strongest woman he had ever known. He was the strongest Force-user ever and he was helpless to save her. He laid a comforting hand on her forehead as her face twisted with pain and agony.

"Padmé, please stay. I need you, Padmé, please don't go, please…" he begged.

His entire body shook from despair, anger, pain – helplessness. He had not learnt enough to save her. Maybe Palpatine could – maybe Palpatine was the only person in the entire universe that could save him like the way he kept on saying. Maybe Obi-Wan was just lying to him. Maybe the Jedi wanted Padmé dead. Maybe he should just kill them all.

A scream from Padmé shook him from his hate-induced thoughts. She gripped his hand tightly as if it was the only connection to the reality.

"If it's a girl…I've always wanted one…name her Leia…" she choked out.

A small baby slipped out silently without crying.

"It's a boy," announced the droid.

A ghost of a distant smile settled on her lips.

"Luke…call him Luke…"

Suddenly, there was another scream and Anakin sensed another life. Twins? Padmé had twins? Another baby slipped out as silent as the first.

"It's a girl," continued the medical droid as it ran a cloth over the newly-born infant to clean her.

A small smile crossed her face but was torn away by a twist of pain. She screamed, her voice filled with gasps and groans of agony. Anakin tried to fight against the onslaught of tears.

"Please, Padmé, please hold on…I need you…we have such beautiful children…they need you…"

"Anakin, Anakin…so sorry, cannot hold on…so sorry…I love you…" she mumbled.

"I love you so much," Anakin choked out as he buried his face in her hair.

She smelled like spring fading into the bitter chill of winter. She smelled like flowers and fresh water on a spring day long gone from his memory.

He felt gentle hands on his shoulders, pulling him away. He shrugged them off, growling dangerously at the interruption. Why would they not leave him alone to wallow in his misery? Had he not suffered enough already?

Obi-Wan had watched the entire scene unfold before his eyes like some tragic story played on the Holonet. He had not spoken at all the entire time Padmé gave birth to twins or Anakin's subsequent breakdown. He did not trust himself enough to speak because all he could feel were emotions storming inside him. It was as if decades of Jedi teachings melted into nothingness.

He buried the pain he had felt when Anakin told Padmé he loved her. He tried to ignore the hurt in his heart when Anakin pushed him away. Recalling Yoda's words, he burnt them into his mind.

_Clear your mind must be. Uncertainty brings about doubt. This path only once can you walk._

Obi-Wan swallowed a lump in his throat and turned to a group of soldiers, nodding his head. They rushed forward to practically pry Anakin from the operating table. Anakin fought like a crazed animal, half-mad with despair. It took six men to hold him back.

"Let me go! _Let me go!_ Let me go now before I kill you – every single one of you!"

Obi-Wan closed his eyes before muttering an order for the men to drag Anakin outside of the glass-walled room.

"Padmé is my wife!" Anakin screamed, thrashing about. "You took everything from me! Where is your promise now, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan opened his eyes but did not say anything.

"Where is your promise now?"

Promises.

They were empty manifestations of hope. Jedi never gave promises only assurances but right now, he could not care less about being a Jedi. Right now, only one thing mattered.

Obi-Wan laid down on the operating table beside Padmé. The lights were too bright. Padmé's gasps were getting faster and faster. Anakin's tortured face was too clear from the other side of the glass wall. Everything was so surreal.

He found Padmé's slender fingers and slipped his own fingers through them, pressing them into his palm. Obi-Wan could feel the lingering essence of Anakin's love on her fingers. Anakin loved Padmé.

Obi-Wan felt tears stinging his eyes. He turned to see Anakin through his glazed eyes, seeing him and not seeing him at the same time.

With this, Obi-Wan would gain nothing.

With this, he would lose everything.

Anakin understood nothing as he watched Obi-Wan. Suddenly, he felt a great amount of Force power being drawn into the room. His mouth fell open in surprise.

What the hell was Obi-Wan doing?

"Saving Padmé's life, Obi-Wan is," answered Yoda solemnly as if he had read Anakin's mind.

Anakin turned to look at Yoda in shock. "But…but I thought only the dark side could…"

The old Jedi Master shook his head slowly, leaning on his gimer stick. "Blinded you were by the lure of the dark side. To save a life of another must another life be sacrificed."

"_Sacrificed?" _Anakin felt the slow impending dread beginning to creep into his mind. His eyes strayed to Obi-Wan.

The Jedi Master's voice was mournful and hollow as he replied.

"Survive this, Obi-Wan will **_not_**."


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: Remember**

**Rating: PG**

**Summary: We make a lot of mistakes in our lives. This is about doing what is right at the end of all things. Anakin/Obi-Wan slash, m/m **

**Disclaimer: I don't own this at all. All the characters and the wonderful universe belong to their respective owners.**

**A/N: I appreciate all your comments and criticisms. Don't worry; I'm immune to a lot of criticisms. First of all, I want to apologize in advance for this last chapter because I know some of you wanted a happy ending. However, I'm reluctant to give it an alternative ending as I've already written this story before. So, well, don't kill me.**

The first thing that hit Anakin by the sudden revelation was pain.

It was a pain so intense that for a moment Anakin was completely consumed by it. He sank to the ground, moaning as all sorts of emotions flooded his senses – pain, disbelief, confusion, despair, desperation…

_I would do all I can to save her…_

'No, no, no, not Obi-Wan…not Obi-Wan, please no…' Anakin held his head in his hands, groaning in pain.

_Trust me…_

Anakin could not lose Obi-Wan like this – not like this.

_Give me a chance…_

Obi-Wan was going to die for Anakin's happiness in selfless sacrifice. Anakin's heart burned in pain – screaming through his senses. He could have dealt with Obi-Wan's death if he had killed him because of betrayal. He could have dealt with it if Obi-Wan had accidentally stepped off a cliff but this…

'Not this way – never this way.' Anakin was shaken with disbelief.

For Obi-Wan to give up his life to save Padmé and Anakin's insanity was something Anakin could not bear. In the end, Obi-Wan had not betrayed him.

In the end, he had kept his promise.

Anakin wished he had not.

Anakin lurched forward suddenly with renewed strength tripled by sheer desperation. He made about several meters forward before being held back by soldiers. He struggled against their grip.

"No! Obi-Wan! No! Don't! Please! Please, Obi-Wan! Stop it!"

Anakin could feel Padmé through the Force. Her life force was pulsing stronger and stronger as Obi-Wan fed him with his own. He could not feel Obi-Wan through the Force – their broken, walled bond made sure of that.

"No, no, no…Obi-Wan please, don't…Obi-Wan…no…"

Anakin battered against the walls of their bonds helplessly, throwing every ounce of strength he had.

'Stop, don't do this…' he cried desperately even though he knew Obi-Wan could not hear him through their bond. 'I can't lose you…'

There was no answer only emptiness.

And it hurt more than getting skewered by a lightsaber.

Changing his tactics, he sought for that one forgotten thread in their bond – a thread Anakin knew could never ever die. It was something they pushed away and tried to bury. It was also the only thing that could save their bond.

Anakin felt echoes of forbidden love course through him – the sensations of those gentle and comforting touches that lingered a moment too long; a word or phrase that carried some deeper, hidden meaning or a gaze that burned with unquenchable desire they both pretended they were blind to. Through that bond, Anakin spoke four words – four words that had defined and shaped him. They were four words Anakin had never said before.

'_Obi-Wan, I love you_.'

And the world blazed to life around him.

For a moment, Anakin could not feel Obi-Wan's presence in the Force and nearly wanted to cry but he soon realized that it was not Obi-Wan's shields that held him back.

Obi-Wan's presence was but a mere flicker in the Force not the blinding light Anakin expected him to be. His life force was fading. The darkness was eating the light away.

Obi-Wan was dying.

The truth hit him so hard that he collapsed to the floor when the soldiers were finally given orders to release him. It was a reality, not a dream – not some made-up story. Anakin could _feel_ him dying. He could feel every bit of life force ebbing away into the darkness.

Obi-Wan would not even survive the hour.

Anakin scrambled forward to Obi-Wan's side, almost crying out in despair at how pale the Jedi Master's face was. Touching his face gently with his human hand, he was shocked at how cold the skin was. Obi-Wan opened his eyes weakly, body shaking and shivering and his breathing coming unsteadily. He looked at Anakin with glazed eyes, frowning.

"Anakin?" he rasped out.

"Why, Obi-Wan? _Why_?" Anakin asked, feeling tears gather in his eyes. "After all I did – after all the people I _killed_ – I don't understand…"

Obi-Wan smiled slightly. Reaching out a hand with apparent difficulty, he lightly touched Anakin's face, wiping away a tear that had managed to slip out. He relished in the feeling of Anakin's tender flesh beneath his touch.

"I grew attached to you, I guess…" Obi-Wan was interrupted by a hacking cough. "Couldn't see you lose your happiness…couldn't see you slip into darkness…didn't want to…have to keep my promise…"

'Damn promises.' Anakin could not care about them right now. He wrapped his real hand around Obi-Wan's, careful not to squeeze too tightly. In his mind, he could recall the times when Obi-Wan would touch his shoulder lightly to draw him back from his nightmares. These were the hands that taught Anakin everything he could know about life.

"You didn't have to do this…didn't have to at all," Anakin repeated again and again softly.

When Obi-Wan made a move to close his eyes, Anakin's voice was raised in anger and desperation.

"Stay here, damn it!" he shouted. "Don't leave me here! I need you! Don't leave me! Stay here!"

Obi-Wan did not close his eyes but looked at Anakin with regret shining through them.

"I don't think I'll be able to keep that promise."

It had been right after Zenoma Sekot. The events that happened before had marked an important change in Anakin Skywalker's life. So many different things happened that left Anakin in a state of utter confusion. It was in this state that Obi-Wan found him.

Anakin was still reeling from the effects of the severed bond he had with the ship that had been grown for him. It was like losing part of his soul and it left him empty. He had imagined having this bond for as long as he lived and the shock of it being severed left him half-blinded with disbelief.

"Anakin."

Anakin looked up to see Obi-Wan standing there looking worriedly at him. Obi-Wan looked far too young but Anakin knew that appearances were often deceptive. He often dreamt of growing up to be a perfect Jedi just like Obi-Wan.

He was slightly surprised when Obi-Wan sat on the ground beside him. He felt the warmth radiating off the Jedi Knight – a contrast to the chill of the atmosphere. Closing his eyes when he felt the gentle hand of his Master touching his face and his touch was soothing. It was a comforting touch.

"Anakin."

Anakin loved the way his name was uttered from Obi-Wan's lips. It sounded beautiful with the hint of familiarity. Obi-Wan's voice was velvety smooth – perfect for singing and enamoring even the most hard-hearted of creatures. Obi-Wan used to sing lullabies when Anakin was younger and fearful of life on another planet to lull him to sleep. Anakin wanted to hear Obi-Wan again if it meant knowing he was still there and would always be there to support him.

"Anakin."

Anakin realized he was crying silently.

"Anakin, open your eyes."

Anakin obeyed. His sight was greeted by the understanding and kind face of Obi-Wan Kenobi. If Anakin had said that Padmé was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, Obi-Wan was the most beautiful thing he had ever sensed. In the Force, Obi-Wan was a blinding presence of light – brighter than even the brightest star in the galaxy.

He clung to Obi-Wan who accepted his embrace with silence. Anakin sobbed against Obi-Wan's chest, feeling Obi-Wan's presence as if Obi-Wan was the most important thing.

"Promise me that you will always be there."

"Anakin, people pass with time. Only the Force is constant."

"Promise me that you will never leave me." Anakin did not care.

"Anakin…"

"_Promise me!_"

"Anakin, attachments are forbidden…"

Anakin looked up, fixing Obi-Wan with an unrelenting gaze. "_Promise me_ that you will never leave. _Promise me_ that you will always be there. _Promise me_ that you will always stay. _Promise me_."

Obi-Wan's expression was one of surprise and perhaps, with a hint of pain.

"I promise."

Angry, helpless tears fell freely down his face, trailing a cool path to drip onto Obi-Wan's tunic. Anakin had no idea how long it has been since he last cried but right now, he could not have stopped even if the galaxy's survival was at stake.

"Damn you! You can't leave me like this!" protested Anakin. "What about the promise, Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan, stay!"

He knew he was being selfish but at this point; he was beyond caring because he was breaking and helpless to stop it. He closed his eyes. This had to be some sort of nightmare he wished he could crush in his fists. He felt the darkness sing at his intentions. Perhaps, with enough power he could crush this nightmare out of existence. Perhaps, he could change it to where Padmé was alive and Obi-Wan did not have to sacrifice himself to save her. Yes, maybe he could, maybe…

"Anakin." Obi-Wan's voice was soft and gentle, pulling him back into reality.

Anakin's eyes refocused on Obi-Wan's and they were not tinged with redness.

Anakin Skywalker – not Darth Vader the monstrous Jedi slayer – looked at Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan's gaze did not waver even when Anakin felt a probing presence reaching out gingerly through their Force-bond. Suddenly, there was a cascade of emotions flowing through him, leaving him breathless.

There was joy – happiness singing from Obi-Wan's heart. There was, perhaps, just a tinge of regret but Anakin was not so sure when another stronger, clearer emotion replaced it.

Love.

Pure, clear love - uncomplicated by the destroyed Jedi Order or the risen Galactic Empire – pulsed from Obi-Wan, honest in every degree. Anakin felt it enveloping him in a warm, affectionate embrace that chased away the darkness.

"Anakin."

It was a while before Anakin realized where he was. His face hovered close to Obi-Wan and his hands had cupped his face. Obi-Wan looked up at him, a small sad smile on his face, acceptance shining from his eyes. Anakin could still feel life leaking out of him.

"Don't leave me, Obi-Wan…please don't," he begged, tears falling. "You can't leave me like this…I love you…I love you…I love you…"

'I'm so sorry, Anakin,' whispered Obi-Wan through their shared bond as his eyes. 'I'm so sorry…I love you…"

Obi-Wan's lips were soft and pliant beneath his. He heard gasps of shock and surprise around him but he did not care because the person he was kissing was Obi-Wan and nothing could have prevented him from kissing Obi-Wan for the first time. Desire burned from every corner of his heart.

Obi-Wan tasted different from Padmé – very different. He tasted fresh, alluring and absolutely wonderful. It was different from kissing Padmé. Whereas Anakin would kiss Padmé with absolute care and concern as if she was made out of glass, this kiss was harsh, demanding, desperate as if they were trying to prolong the few minutes into endless eternity. Anakin took everything Obi-Wan was readily giving to him.

He pulled back when air became an absolute fundamental necessity. Obi-Wan's eyes were clouded with love, lust and longing.

_Stay with me…stay with me…_

_You know I can't…_

_I don't want to lose you, not after this…_

_I'll wait for you when you're ready…_

_Obi-Wan, I…_

A shudder ran through Obi-Wan's body as his mouth opened to release the last breath. Anakin pressed his lips in a slow, bittersweet kiss – tasting Obi-Wan for one last time.

_Anakin, remember my love…_then silence.

And Anakin was kissing only air.

Obi-Wan was gone – all that was left was his robes still warm to touch and a half-polished blue stone streaked with gold and patterned with tiny chips of gems. It hung from a thin leather strap. Anakin reached out his hand unsteadily as he felt fresh tears flowing. The stone was slightly warm in his left hand and Anakin could sense the tiny traces of love that had seeped into the stone.

_Remember my love._

Anakin remembered.

Anakin Skywalker was rushing through the halls of the Jedi Temple in a desperate attempt to reach the canteen area before classes started. He knew Obi-Wan would reprimand him later about rushing through the hallways in an un-Jedi like manner like a krayt dragon was snapping at his heels but he did not really care about it right now because he had to give Obi-Wan something and if he was late for classes, well, he could handle that.

"Master Kenobi!" Anakin cried, delighted that he was able to find Obi-Wan. He rushed to meet him.

"Anakin, how many times have I told you not to…" Obi-Wan began a frown on his face when Anakin interrupted his conversation with Shaak Ti and Mace Windu.

"I'm sorry that I'm so disrespectful," Anakin hastily apologized. "But I wanted to give you something before you leave for Nar Shaddaa, seeing that I'm not going to see you for a week."

The expression on Obi-Wan's face softened into a quizzical expression and for a moment Anakin was unsure if giving the thing in front of two other Jedi was such a good idea but Obi-Wan was waiting for him with an expectant look.

Anakin produced it from the folds of his robes and the small, half-polished stone twinkled like a blue star. It pulsed and burned with its own inner light. Just the exact shade of Obi-Wan's eyes, every time Anakin looked at it, he remembered Obi-Wan and his presence in the Force.

"I wanted to give you something as a token of my appreciation for taking me as your Padawan." Anakin held it out and hoped desperately that Obi-Wan would accept it even though he knew there was a high possibility he might not.

Much to Anakin's relief, Obi-Wan took it and immediately tied it around his neck. Anakin stared at it. It lay on Obi-Wan's chest as if its entire destiny was to do so.

"Thank you, Anakin."

Anakin stood there awkwardly for a moment before bowing and leaving. Before he turned the corner, he heard Mace Windu speak loud enough for him to catch.

"Love surrounds the stone."

Anakin did not hear Obi-Wan reply.

Anakin fell to his knees, unable to stop the tears. His entire body shook as he gripped the stone tightly – a little harder and he might be able to crush it to dust.

Obi-Wan had never taken it off.

Oh Force, he should have known – he should have known. He should have known from those light touches Obi-Wan gave that always hinted at a feeling deeper than friendship. If only he had been a bit more forceful – if he had broken down the walls sooner – perhaps, he could have stopped this from happening.

Obi-Wan had always loved him.

It was the simple, actual truth. Anakin crumpled.

"Love you, he did," said Yoda as he hobbled in. "Keep this from the Council, he could not."

Anakin was in disbelief. How could the Council come to learn of this when he himself was too blind to see it?

"Blinded you were by hurt and distrust," answered Yoda. "Out of love, Obi-Wan had sacrificed himself. Only by selfless sacrifice can another life be saved."

Anger rose in him like a tidal wave – unstoppable and ferocious.

Palpatine had lied to him – no – Darth Sidious had lied o him. The knowledge burned through his heart. Anakin would tear him apart from limb to limb in a slow, torturous death for everything he had done. He would kill Sidious for lying to him – for indirectly causing Obi-Wan's death.

He stood up, the tears clearing from his eyes. Clutching the stone for a moment, he tied it around his neck, feeling the soft murmurs of Obi-Wan's love. If he concentrated hard enough, he could almost feel Obi-Wan's lips brushing his in a chaste kiss.

Without turning to Yoda, he spoke.

"I will kill Sidious. Take care of Padmé and the children for me. Tell them I love them and that I'm sorry. I don't know if I will return."

"May the Force be with you, Skywalker."

_I will wait for you when you're ready…_

'I won't be long, Master,' Anakin thought, hoping that Obi-Wan would be able to listen. 'I promise. I love you.'

Anakin left.

**The End**


End file.
